Archive for the ‘Where to start’ Category

The schoolrun has been challenging over the past few weeks, to say the least. I know that children with symptoms of ADD are often actually hyper sensitive kids, and Josh is no exception to that. She is so fed up with the bullying and the teasing, she is 100% sure she does not want to go to school anymore. But, the paperwork for the homeschooling is taking its time… So she still has to go. Every day with more trouble.

Going to school: Long whining stories about what happened in the last days and will happen for sure today. “If they call me names again, I phone you, OK, Mom? And then you come and pick me up, OK?”
“Sure, honey”.

Coming from school: “And then he said this, and then I said that, and then the teacher scolded me for using bad words, it is sooo unfair… Tomorrow I do not go to school, no way, they can stuff it, I am so sick of it, they are all “/%&”)$)”.
“I understand sweetheart”.

Anyway, this did not bring us anywhere, we just went round in the same circles, me telling her to hang in there, and she telling me she couldn’t.

Now I did listen during the last couple of days to The Vortex by Abraham, as channeled by Esther Hicks. Loads of wise words and insights, and what really got me was the knowledge, that we are the ones that form our world. In other words: Focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want, and there will be more and more of what you want in your life. So, every time there is something unwanted in your awareness, turn your attention to what it is you DO want.

Right then, I started 3 days ago:
“Mom, they did ….”.
“OK, Honey, what would you have wanted them to do instead? When have they been nice to you? You want them to be like that don’t you?”
“Sure”. Smile. “I remember, the time when..” More smiles.
…
“Mom, he is just a $%#=/=.”
“Sure he is, but has he ever been pleasant to you? When was that? What if he would always be like that?”
“Yeah, in the beginning of the year, remember that I did sing for the class? Then he was nice to me”. Smile.
“See, you’re feeling better now already?”
Smile. “Yeah…”

Now, it’s 3 days later, and this morning we drove to school, singing together. I really look forward to pick her up in an hour’s time – see what her day has been like. Yesterday she had little to complain about, which was a big shift from the past 18 months…

Will keep you posted – and if you find yourself in the same situation, try it, and please comment on this post with your experiences!

Charlotte

Found on Networked blogs, a cool Facebook application which helps me to keep track what my fellow EFT practitioners and ADD/ADHD coaches write about. I would love you to become my friend on Facebook, so we can share thought and insights! See you on the other side! Click here: http://www.facebook.com/charkamman

The article I want to show you, is named “Make Do-Not-Do Lists for Better Productivity”, and is written by Lisa Hoover.

It is written for adults, but with a little imagination, it is easy to see how we can help our children to keep on track when we use the principles she talks about. My own thoughts are printed in italics, Lisa’s original article is in normal print.

“Nearly every time management system advocates to-do lists in some form to help keep us on track. Consider turning that advice on its head and make a do-not-do list instead.

Success Magazine blogger Chelsea Greenwood says to-do lists can be helpful, but only to a point. Eventually, they can get so long and unwieldy they start to take over our lives and sap our energy to get anything done. After all, who wants to confront a mile-long list of tasks staring them in the face?

Overwhelm is a very common emotion in children with symptoms of ADD or ADHD. They do not always show us, but you can be sure that they do feel that way. EFT tapping can help them to get over the overwhelm, and if combined with time management skills, it is obvious that the benefits will be numerous

Instead, take a hard look at how you spend your day and try to identify where your giant black holes of time are. Too many coffee breaks? Too much time spent surfing productivity sites (though we’ll give you a free pass on that)? Once you figure out where your time sinks are, write yourself a do-not-do list so you minimize how much time you spend doing things that aren’t particularly productive.

Fidgeting, reading comics, playing computer games, talking to friends on MSN… They are all very time consuming. We can help our children by allowing a certain amount of time for each of these activities. Children with symptoms of ADD and ADHD especially, also need time to just relax, preferably meditate and allow their busy minds to slow down for a moment. We need to help them to find this “off-time” – and we can only do that by showing them they do not need to do something the whole day long.

Depending on how drastic your findings are, implementing your do-not-do list may require persistence and teamwork. Post the list in one or more visible areas to remind yourself what you should not be doing, and enlist the support of co-workers, friends or loved ones to keep you on track.

Now, no one’s recommending that you never take a break or waste time during the day—everybody needs a little down time. Instead, use your do-not-do list as a way to stay focused on your goals and realize that the more time you spend avoiding things on your new list bring you that much closer to getting where you want to be.”

So, program the down-time for your child, and allow for this down-time by limiting his activity time!

The Productivity Dilemma: To Do or Not to Do? [Success Magazine]

(Source: http://lifehacker.com

Hit up the post for tips on how to develop your do-not-do list. Do you keep a list like this? Does it help keep you on track? Share your thoughts in the comments!

This is the answer I gave on an e-mail by a fellow practitioner, who asked me the following question:

A recent opportunity has come whereby I am in a position to work with
children (some who may be hyperactive and with ADHD/ADD).
Have you found NLP techniques or EFT to be the better tool for working with this issue ( I realize that may depend on a lot of factors)?

I’ve always looked at attentional problems as mostly being neurological and less emotional. Although I do understand how limiting beliefs, and negative emotions may worsen the problem, I
guess I wonder whether EFT can help with attention specifically. e.g., can one tap to increase sustained attention?

My answer:

The field of children, hyperactivity and EFT/NLP is an amazing, wonderful, rich field, in which I am ever learning and discovering new possibilities and solutions to challenges!

At this moment in time, I work with a three step plan:

1. Diet
2. Tap: Every day 3 times on whatever comes up
3. Help kids to structure their hours after and before school

1. Diet:
Eliminate sugar and food additives (sweeteners, food colorings, etc). Keep a food diary, to see if some foodstuff worsen the symptoms. Have a look at this video for an insight in food allergies and their possible effects on behaviour:
http://eft4add.com/symptoms-of-add-and-adhd-linked-to-allergies/
Most often, leaving out sugar and additives does the trick already. The kids are allowed one “sweet day” per week with a limited amount of sugar, but no additives or colorings etc.

2. Tapping:
The underlying emotions sometimes get mentioned, sometimes not. We tap on restlessnes, fear, anger etc; whatever the child feels at that moment. I teach the parents how to tap with the kids, often using a tapping stuffed animal (TappyBear for example) – the parents invent a metaphor for the problem the child is facing (e.g. fear for a math test) – and do a little role play with the bear having that problem, for example the bear will have fear of a roaring contest which is coming up. The kids then helps the bear to overcome his fear by tapping, and solves his own fear at the same time. This lessens gretly the reistance kids sometimes have when working with them, especially as a parent.

3. Structure
I tell the parents: “Support them like you would do a younger kid”. Make sure that as little as possible goes wrong, that way the child gets used to the feeling that everything is under control and fine – and he will put more and more effort in to feel that way, because it feels good. Help them with their homework, good notes are addictive

So, back to your question: I use a mixture of NLP, EFT and diet.
Attention problems are definitely neurological, as is pain too, for example, and EFT is very good at adressing neurological patterns which are not functional (anymore); and NLP obviously is too!

I hope I have been elaborate enough for you to take these ideas and try them out, if I can be helpful in any way I would love to hear it!

Warmest regards,

Charlotte

Read this story about a 7 year old boy, who teaches himself the procedure of EFT and applies it to his own symptoms of ADD he is suffering from.

As a (mature) student nurse currently in clinical placement, I am exposed to a multitude of folk with varying degrees of health issues. One day I found myself working alongside Jane, a health care professional, who complained of severe discomfort in her right calf and so I offered to lead her through an EFT session. My colleague found immediate, marked reduction in her calf pain and stated she felt ‘so good all over’ (she is in the first trimester of pregnancy and had been experiencing fatigue and sickness) that she would continue to tap at home.

I met Jane again three days later at work and listened to a story that she was enthusiastic to share. Read the rest of this entry »