Archive for the ‘EFT’ Category

The schoolrun has been challenging over the past few weeks, to say the least. I know that children with symptoms of ADD are often actually hyper sensitive kids, and Josh is no exception to that. She is so fed up with the bullying and the teasing, she is 100% sure she does not want to go to school anymore. But, the paperwork for the homeschooling is taking its time… So she still has to go. Every day with more trouble.

Going to school: Long whining stories about what happened in the last days and will happen for sure today. “If they call me names again, I phone you, OK, Mom? And then you come and pick me up, OK?”
“Sure, honey”.

Coming from school: “And then he said this, and then I said that, and then the teacher scolded me for using bad words, it is sooo unfair… Tomorrow I do not go to school, no way, they can stuff it, I am so sick of it, they are all “/%&”)$)”.
“I understand sweetheart”.

Anyway, this did not bring us anywhere, we just went round in the same circles, me telling her to hang in there, and she telling me she couldn’t.

Now I did listen during the last couple of days to The Vortex by Abraham, as channeled by Esther Hicks. Loads of wise words and insights, and what really got me was the knowledge, that we are the ones that form our world. In other words: Focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want, and there will be more and more of what you want in your life. So, every time there is something unwanted in your awareness, turn your attention to what it is you DO want.

Right then, I started 3 days ago:
“Mom, they did ….”.
“OK, Honey, what would you have wanted them to do instead? When have they been nice to you? You want them to be like that don’t you?”
“Sure”. Smile. “I remember, the time when..” More smiles.
…
“Mom, he is just a $%#=/=.”
“Sure he is, but has he ever been pleasant to you? When was that? What if he would always be like that?”
“Yeah, in the beginning of the year, remember that I did sing for the class? Then he was nice to me”. Smile.
“See, you’re feeling better now already?”
Smile. “Yeah…”

Now, it’s 3 days later, and this morning we drove to school, singing together. I really look forward to pick her up in an hour’s time – see what her day has been like. Yesterday she had little to complain about, which was a big shift from the past 18 months…

Will keep you posted – and if you find yourself in the same situation, try it, and please comment on this post with your experiences!

Charlotte

This is the answer I gave on an e-mail by a fellow practitioner, who asked me the following question:

A recent opportunity has come whereby I am in a position to work with
children (some who may be hyperactive and with ADHD/ADD).
Have you found NLP techniques or EFT to be the better tool for working with this issue ( I realize that may depend on a lot of factors)?

I’ve always looked at attentional problems as mostly being neurological and less emotional. Although I do understand how limiting beliefs, and negative emotions may worsen the problem, I
guess I wonder whether EFT can help with attention specifically. e.g., can one tap to increase sustained attention?

My answer:

The field of children, hyperactivity and EFT/NLP is an amazing, wonderful, rich field, in which I am ever learning and discovering new possibilities and solutions to challenges!

At this moment in time, I work with a three step plan:

1. Diet
2. Tap: Every day 3 times on whatever comes up
3. Help kids to structure their hours after and before school

1. Diet:
Eliminate sugar and food additives (sweeteners, food colorings, etc). Keep a food diary, to see if some foodstuff worsen the symptoms. Have a look at this video for an insight in food allergies and their possible effects on behaviour:
http://eft4add.com/symptoms-of-add-and-adhd-linked-to-allergies/
Most often, leaving out sugar and additives does the trick already. The kids are allowed one “sweet day” per week with a limited amount of sugar, but no additives or colorings etc.

2. Tapping:
The underlying emotions sometimes get mentioned, sometimes not. We tap on restlessnes, fear, anger etc; whatever the child feels at that moment. I teach the parents how to tap with the kids, often using a tapping stuffed animal (TappyBear for example) – the parents invent a metaphor for the problem the child is facing (e.g. fear for a math test) – and do a little role play with the bear having that problem, for example the bear will have fear of a roaring contest which is coming up. The kids then helps the bear to overcome his fear by tapping, and solves his own fear at the same time. This lessens gretly the reistance kids sometimes have when working with them, especially as a parent.

3. Structure
I tell the parents: “Support them like you would do a younger kid”. Make sure that as little as possible goes wrong, that way the child gets used to the feeling that everything is under control and fine – and he will put more and more effort in to feel that way, because it feels good. Help them with their homework, good notes are addictive

So, back to your question: I use a mixture of NLP, EFT and diet.
Attention problems are definitely neurological, as is pain too, for example, and EFT is very good at adressing neurological patterns which are not functional (anymore); and NLP obviously is too!

I hope I have been elaborate enough for you to take these ideas and try them out, if I can be helpful in any way I would love to hear it!

Warmest regards,

Charlotte

Jonathan’s mother talked to me on chat yesterday – through the Messenger of our daughters.
“I have to talk to you urgently” she said, and I have to admit that I had a bit of a fright.
Jonathan is a boy who had severe ADD symptoms, and he has been going really well since starting the treatment; His mother is really strict with the energy toxins like sugar and additives, and EFT really helps him to focus.

“It’s about my husband, Vincent” she wrote, and I wondered what had happened. “Since Jonathan is really becoming a different child, it seems that my husband is getting worse. He is aggressive when he drinks, and Jonathan does not accept that anymore. Earlier Jonathan’s ADD symptoms would make him shout back, but now Jonathan stays calm and tells his father that he is behaving like a stupid drunk. And that makes Vincent even more mad.”

I told her that I would come today and talk to her. “You really have to help me” she typed. “It is really getting difficult”.

I do realise that the whole family system changes when one member changes. In this case probably two members are growing out of their old role: Jonathan’s Mom and Jonathan himself. Jonathan is suddenly growing up since we cleaned his energy system with EFT and the adapted nutrition. He is 9 years old and has suffered a lot from his ADD symptoms. He was on Ritalin for a year (which turned him into a “Zombie”, his Mom said), he is having consultations with a psychiatrist and with 2 different psychologists: one via school and one via the family doctor.

His father is a builder, and although he seems a very enjoyable, amicable man, he has his bad spells when he drinks too much – which happens almost on a weekly basis. The children have been used to this since they were small, and the mother seemed not to be bothered too much. But now the cards are turning.

Jonathan is being kept responsible for his behaviour much more than he was before, and he feels that his father should be kept resonsible as well. If Jonathan accepts an icecream from one of his uncles, even though he knows he is not supposed to, his mother is quite clear that that is not an excuse to misbehave! So, in Jonathan’s view, being drunk is not an excuse to misbehave either.

Vincent will have to reconsider his behaviour, and Jonathan and his mother and sister will have to decide to change what they can change, to accept what they cannot change, and to be wise in knowing the difference between the two.

It reminds me of a quote of Abraham from their new book that I got in my e-mail this morning:

Our Varied Behavior Adds to the Planet’s Well-Being…

 

When you remember that nothing can come into your experience without your Vibrational invitation of it, then you do the simple work of paying attention to your own Vibrational offering, and you save yourself the enormous and impossible task of controlling the behavior of others.

 

When you remember that the varied behavior of others adds to the balance and the Well-Being of your planet even if they offer behavior that you do not approve of; and that you do not have to participate in the unwanted behavior, and will not – unless you give your attention to it – you become more willing to allow others to live as they choose.

 

— Abraham

 

Excerpted from Abraham’s newest book, The Vortex, Where the Law of Attraction Assembles All Cooperative Relationships

And I agree that it is not easy in a situation like this…

I will probably work with the whole family on three levels:

Tapping will certainly help with the latter, and boundaries and responsibility are a definite outcome of a cleaner energy system. It is about the first step of awakening: From victimhood into empowerment. Jonathan took that step already, because he now knows that he himself controls his ADHD / ADD symptoms and the related moods: Through what he eats and how often he taps.

His mother is also discovering the benefits of EFT, she started using it to overcome her chocolate cravings and to loose weight.

It seems that Vincent is the next one who cannot escape growth, unless he chooses to stay where he is and take the risk of a broken marriage and trouble with his children.

I will keep you posted!

Charlotte

Update Sep 9, 2009 
The session went very well. Jonathan talked to Joel the Tappy Bear, and we tapped on the fear and the anger. Joel happened to have a mother who drinks too much , and he asked Jonathan to help him. He decided that the next time his father drinks too much, he just goes away from the home, to play with a friend in the village. 
I then talked to his father. The first question I asked him, was “Do you want your daughter to marry a man with the same behaviour?”, saying that even though he himself was not hitting his wife, other men probably would do when they are in that state. “Daughters find a husband which has the behaviour they know, and that is very often just like their father did. Imagine your grandchildren coming here, crying, and saying that Daddy is hitting Mommy. Just imagine how that will feel.”That was enough to get him in tears. I told him that by that time he would not be able to change it anymore, but that he can change his kids future NOW, by stopping his behaviour. He said he would try to drink less often, and that he would certainly go and sleep under a tree if he would have been drinking too much, instead of going home and creating trouble.

I think that that is not a bad first step. I plan on working with him on his drinking pattern, he said he wanted that. And I will certainly send the mother to the Al-Anon for help and advice. She was happy with the outcome, I talked to her today, and she does think that it did shift her husband’s way of looking at the situation.

PS. If you like this post, please bookmark it below in your favourite service. I use Stumble, it’s a great way to discover new interesting sites. And of course comments are more than welcome!

EFT often leads to amazing results in the treatment of symptoms of ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) and ADHD. Often, parents and doctors find this surprising. The challenges children meet when they suffer of the symptoms of ADD or ADHD, are often so complicated and hard to control, that medicaments are administered to lessen the problem. But, in reality, these challenges become much easier to tackle when we take into account their real causes.

EFT bypasses the ususal methods like re-wiring the brain, training to focus or the use of drugs). Instead it searches for unresolved emotional issues such as fear or anxiety, which might be at the root of the problem – or which might be a result of the problem, hence bringing the child in a vicious circle. As soon as these underlying causes are thoroughly resolved (which is what EFT is great for) the ADD symptoms tend to fade and the client leads a normal social and academic life. (If your child takes medication for his ADD, make sure you talk to your physician about diminishing their dose.)

Most people see the logic of this method, because almost all children that suffer from the symptoms of ADD or ADHD, also suffer from emotions like anger, anxiety, trauma, fear or guilt; sometimes originating in their current circumstances or coming from their earlier years. They feel like they “don’t belong” or “aren’t part of it all.” In such cases, the symptoms of ADD or ADHD are merely the visible signs of those underlying emotional causes. Resolving the causes make the symptoms fade.

Don A. Blackerby, PhD, uses EFT to teach children and adults how to cope with their symptoms of ADD and ADHD. His success ratio is 90-95%, without using medication. Read the rest of this entry »

I want to share with you a story from the source of EFT stories: Gary Craig’s website emofree.com.

Gary writes:

Hi Everyone,

Amelia Conrad responds to the recent case posted by “Carl” regarding an adolescent boy’s behavior problem. In Amelia’s case, the young man is ADHD with substantial emotional possibilities as causes of the behavior. She describes her procedures and her results in the message below. I think you’ll find the ending quite interesting.

Also, please note two possible avenues to approach ADD & ADHD. One has to do with unresolved emotional issues (like the ones Amelia addresses) and the other has to do with allergic reactions to substances like sugar, caffeine, wheat, pesticides, etc. that may be literally causing the problem. See the book “Is This Your Child?” by Doris Rapp, MD for impressive evidence of this latter cause.

Hugs, Gary

Hi Gary,

This is the first time I write, even though I’ve been avidly keeping up with your wonderful postings. It is truly inspiring that the “energy” community shares so freely and openly!

This is in response to “Carl’s” questions about working with a guarded teenager. I’d like to share an experience with a similar client:

John (not his real name), 14, was referred for therapy because of long term involvement with protective services and ADHD. He was taken from his home when he was four, bounced around several foster homes, was abused in some of them, suffered disruptions in attachments and separation from his parents and siblings. At the time I saw him he had been reunited with his mother and one older brother, and was in a regular school with accommodations for special education.

Shortly after I started working with him, John’s Ritalin level, which he had taken for ten years, became toxic. Read the rest of this entry »